It’ll hit you when you least expect it. For me, it was as I was driving down a narrow mountain road completely mesmerized by the fresh snow on the mountain peaks towering above, happy. Incredibly happy. The kind of happy that makes your insides feel like a perfectly toasted marshmallow. Everything seems right in the world + I was invincible to the doubts of reality.

The one place it is perfectly acceptable to sit on the floor near a trash can is in an airport. Or that’s what I tell myself. For some silly reason 90% of the available outlets are always on those pillars surrounded by trash + recycling bins. From an architectural stand point, I guess that makes sense. From a self-respect + dignity stand point, not so much. Lucky for the batteries of my electronics, I’m not exactly overflowing with either self-respect of dignity!

I’ve spent the last few months…not writing, not overworking + not running. Instead, I’ve been wandering, planning + spending time doing not-so-crazy things with people I really enjoy being around. I don’t want to jinx myself by saying “life is slowing down”, but my life choices seem to be a bit more purposeful. The “because, why not” way of decision-making isn’t going anywhere, trust me. But I’ve been a bit more intentional with my choices lately.

Life isn’t exactly slowing down, but I’m finding a way to work a little more fun into the crazy. Both jobs are still in full force + I’m roaming around Summit County without a car. This has me sinking a ton of time into work + bus-muting. However, my free time has been put to really good use…sans running shoes.

In today’s world there is a plethora of pain; in ways no one wants to admit or acknowledge. A quick scroll through the news headlines in your Facebook feed will offer up more proof then you’ll ever want. There are some seriously depressing + demoralizing things going on in today’s world. It sucks, there’s no way around that. I am not going to deny that. I’m also not trying to take away from anyone’s pain, frustration or confusion. However, there is also an immense amount of love + joy floating around in this world, too. It just takes a little effort to find it.

And just like that, it’s December. We still grossly low on snow up here in the Rocky Mountains but the weather has taken a turn for the colder [much colder] so I guess we can officially say winter has arrived. Finally. The resorts opened 3+ weeks behind schedule which meant those of us lucky enough to snag mountain jobs were stuck with an extra 3 weeks of free time, sans paycheck.

Creating Change; On My Terms

Life changes; always. It is these constant changes that keep us on our toes + hopefully loving the life we live. However, change is never easy. It doesn’t matter how much you claim to love change, it is never exceptionally easy. The essence of change itself brings a level of uncertainty + chaos into your life. How you cope with this newfound stress is what defines you as a person + determines how much you end up enjoying your own life. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself every time I’m forced to deal with another bout of change [something I claim to enjoy].

If you had asked me 10 years ago what I anticipated my life to look like by the time I turned 30 my answer would have probably included words like “married”, “children”, “home” + “career”. Actually, they definitely did include those words because 10 years ago that is exactly the path my life was on. I had half of those things + was well on my way to snagging the other half before the “forever 29” birthday rolled around. At that moment, I was happy.

Oh, how life changes.

Currently, none of those words can be used to describe me, yet I’ve managed to find a few other things that I have come to really value in my life. Things like “friendship”, “independence”, “freedom” + “self-confidence”. Of course, I had some level of each of these things 10 years ago,  I just had no idea how much I would come to depend upon them + how fiercely I would fight to keep them part of my life as the years flew by.

Maybe it’s just me and the network for nomadic friends I have acquired over the years but my social media platforms seems to be full of articles about “being alone isn’t lonely” or “being alone makes me feel powerful” + other stories about how being alone isn’t a bad thing. All of those things are true.

However, sometimes being alone really does get lonely.

It’s true + it’s okay. It’s not a bad thing, it’s a real life thing. More importantly, it’s not something that just those of us literally on our own feel. Even people in long-term relationships, living with family + surrounded by a strong community feel lonely. Rather than try to deny or hide that let’s admit it, embrace it + let ourselves grow from it.

Oh, it’s been a while since I wrote one of these! Turns out I completely missed my “regularly scheduled” currently post in August. Whoops — I guess I got a little wrapped up in my version of van life + forgot all about it. That just means this little update will be all that more interesting, right?! Well, maybe.

So, what the heck has currently been happening?! First off, I have moved out of TETON Sports’ #yourlead van + am trying to figure out what the heck to do with my life. I’ve been halfheartedly making life plans for the past month with no avail. I guess it’s time to get crazy creative + force things to go my way?