Creating Change; On My Terms

Life changes; always. It is these constant changes that keep us on our toes + hopefully loving the life we live. However, change is never easy. It doesn’t matter how much you claim to love change, it is never exceptionally easy. The essence of change itself brings a level of uncertainty + chaos into your life. How you cope with this newfound stress is what defines you as a person + determines how much you end up enjoying your own life. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself every time I’m forced to deal with another bout of change [something I claim to enjoy].

‘Tis the season for change…well, technically ’tis the season for leftover Halloween candy, turkey stuffing + over-played carols. But, for me, that means things are a changing. I’m moving from a life of a roaming nomad to the life of a seasonal employee with two jobs [FT + PT]. A change it is. For starters, it’s insane how quickly you start bleeding money when you settle down in one place + actually have room to store things. Suddenly you *need* that random, cute notebook you saw at Target, because…you’ll eventually fill up the one you have + it’s on sale. #heidilogic

…my commute, I can not complain. [do not yell at me, I’m in the red arrow’ed turn lane!]

Of course, finances aren’t the only stressful bit that comes with your life taking a turn [expected or otherwise]. For me, the biggest struggle when it comes to big life changes is finding a new place for myself to fit into everyone else’s life. When I’m on the road I’m always that fleeting friend — someone you get excited to see because the encounters are brief, energetic + full of stories. As soon as I settle down for a few months I start to feel like a burdensome friend — that girl who’s always around + looking for an excuse to hang out. All of my friends still speak to me + welcome me with open arms, so this is probably an intrinsic perception…but it’s still my perception that I get to cope with.

Change also forces you to find a new balance in life, with everything. Friends, jobs, education + general well-being all have to be adjusted a bit as you start navigating life changes. In my humble opinion, this is definitely not a bad thing. It’s a great opportunity to take a look at your life + determine where your values truly lie. What’s most important to you? What are you prepared to willingly make sacrifices for? How much are you willing to give for what you’re hoping to get?

This makes change a fantastic opportunity to adjust your life, on your terms. The stressor here is the actual choices you’re facing. How the hell do you decide what choice is the right choice? Quite frankly, whatever you choose becomes the right choice…so choose wisely. Ha. Yup, no stress at all.

Where is all of this “embrace change” rambling coming from? Well, I’m about to kick off a winter season in Colorado, again. I’m a bit more prepared than I was last year + once again I’m going into this with a spring escape plan. However, I’m also taking on a job that has me working in the medical field [yay, career!], re-committing to a “stable” life after months of roaming rather aimlessly [yay, running water!] + attempting to avoid the looming “what next” question [yay, choice?].

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m truly stressed, but I’m no the verge of creating change + avoiding change. I want to be the person brave enough to create + embrace change…but change is freaking scary. The life I’m currently living is known + comfortable. I have had time to learn the ins + outs of the chaos created by myself, my friends + my choices. This chaos may not always be good, but it’s something that is there + dependable. If I do X, Y will happen. Is Y good? Not necessarily, but it’ll happen…because it always does. But why am I accepting Y if Y isn’t actually a good thing in my life?!

Enter change…on my terms.

Now that I’ve become a mature adult [turning 30 does that to you, by the way…instant adultness!] I feel compelled to take control of some of those “Y” moments that I don’t love. I’ve never been an innocent bystander in my own life, yet I’m allowing myself to be a complacent recipient of my own life consequences. It worked, for a while…but it’s getting old. Time to initiate some change…

The real kicker is, most people in my life won’t even notice these changes. The things I hope to change are very small things that just happen day-to-day. However, I’ll notice a difference in the aftermath of my day-to-day life + that’s what I’m jonesing for in life right now. If all goes well I’m about to snag myself stronger legs, a healthy dose of endurance, a happier heart + a much bigger smile. Because…change is about to get created all up in here!

…random post, eh? Well, if you didn’t enjoy the literally brain-to-keyboard flow of consciousness I hope the pictures helped get you down here to the bottom of the post. These photos were all taken in the last week on the trails surrounding my winter home. Yes, I’m stupidly happy about this!


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