Sometimes I sit down at my computer, load up WordPress + settle in to write about something very specific. Maybe it’s a trail story or a race recap [ha, that’s been a while] or a “hey, this is what’s up” update. Usually, I make a point to leave home then get focused + motivated with a fancy pants latte from my favorite coffee shop [or whatever coffee shop will let me buy caffeine in exchange for internet access]. Lately, I’ve been writing with a purpose…motivated by experiences or some sort of income.
This is not one of those times. I am still miles away from Red Buffalo Cafe, the home of my go-to brown sugar honey latte, with no make-up on + wet hair. I plopped down + opened my laptop after walking Max, still munching on a bagel + sipping mediocre coffee smashed through my new Aeropress. There was no mission, but I knew I needed to plan out a few weekend trips. Or, more responsibly, apply for another job or two. That’s where I started, but that’s not where I stayed.
Instead, I’m here…throwing words at the website I seriously considered deserting for the next few months.
I guess, this is why my site is still here. For those moments when I just want to let my fingers float across a keyboard + push words out to the world. Sure, I can write on my own time + keep it all to myself in a cute handwritten journal. I could even create a compilation of messy feelings on Google Docs. But…that’s not quite as rewarding as through vomiting onto a public site where friends, family + random strangers can read about the chaos in my brain.
Now that I’ve not-so-strategically used up your entire attention span, let me throw in a few mountainous photos while I ramble on…
…hiking McCullough Gulch with Hannah + Max, an area of “my mountains” I didn’t even know existed before this.
I’ve been back in Colorado for two weeks. It’s amazing how quickly you fall back into your routine of “life”. Running off for the summer doesn’t demolish your friendships, smother your love for backyard trails or erase your insecurities. It’s all right there, waiting for your return. Trust me, I know…I’ve tried it three times + every time life is just there, waiting for me to get back to picking up the pieces or rekindle the flames.
That’s not exactly a complaint — I like my mountains + I love my people. As for the insecurities + relentless “adulting” responsibilities, well, that’s why I stick to the mountains + keep my people around. They’re what makes those problems more manageable. Caffeine, country music, ice cream + mindless Netflix’ing also help…it’s all about balance, right?!
When I first got back to Colorado I didn’t really have much of a game plan for life. I mean, I had plans to get my hands on a seasonal job for the winter, but beyond that…it was all wait + see.
Rather than sketch out a life plan for my short-term future, I threw myself at a handful of “this could work” opportunities. Somehow, I’ve managed to wrangle a full-time seasonal job with a mash-up of contract/freelance work. Now it’s just a matter of balancing these new responsibilities with my desire to get outside + play in the mountain before the snow shows up.
…running Uneva Pass with Farhen + Ingrid, something my not-really-run-ready legs agreed to the night before.
The Subaru I just bought is going to help with that balance, I do believe.
I’ve also spent time in the kitchen fussing over my first attempt at making a sourdough starter [uh, now I have to make it into bread?!], fermented what I think is a healthy slime of kombucha scoby. Not to mention the time I’ve spent at the library + the books about gardening in small space at high altitudes. Then there’s the bit where Robb + I got a storage unit, moved around gear + bought a grill. We also have plans in place to set up recycling, a dining room table, more gear storage + worm composting.
Who am I!?
How does one go from living out of a backpack to taking on a “settled down” life of adulthood in the course of a few weeks? When is my head going to explode? Honestly…I don’t think it will explode. Everything is just sort of happening + it’s not stressing me out. It’s working. I’ve always wanted to have a real “home” but my restless heart hasn’t allowed me to enjoy it. I seem to have wriggled myself into a lifestyle that allows me to “settle down” while still chasing my adventurous whims around the world. Next summer will be a bit different. But even with a garden, composting worms + fermenting tea, it’s going to be possible to get nomadic. At least for a few months!
featured/header photo: hiking to Willow Creek Falls with Robb + Max